By: Muneer AbdurRazzaq Khandwalla
- Build trust. Be a person whose character is recognisable in all circumstances. Your words and actions should match. Can your spouse believe you and take you at your words?
- Be principled. Your spouse should know your stand on issues that come up in the daily grind of life. You cannot have different sets of rules to handle matters that crop up. That said, being compromising and accommodating to a spouses’ views help cement relations.
- Be communicative. Be open and communicative. Do not create an intimidating persona. Being unapproachable gives an impression to the other persons that they and their opinions have no worth with you. People will feel valued if their ideas and opinions are sought out and taken into account.
- Be respectful and supportive. Mutual respect and support is essential. Sacrifice is needed to make a marriage work. Be committed to the spouse and to the marriage because it is something you share, you waited and longed for. Blend your ideas, dreams and desires.
- Accept weaknesses. Everyone errs. Face your faults and learn to resolve them. Accept that other people too have weaknesses, and handle these with tact and understanding. Where things go wrong, instead of attributing blame, ask yourselves where you both could have done better.
- Consult. Do not take decisions, try to consult even on little matters. This can go a long way in creating trust and confidence in each other. Value each other’s opinion. Of course, there is no definite panacea for making a marriage work, but if both of you adopt the ‘give and take’ principle and view your marriage with a long term perspective, chances of success are high.
- Seek Allah’s assistance. As Believers we ought to believe that every condition is a manifestation of the Will of Allah. He is the only one who holds the powers to change things. Hence you should supplicate to Him to make your marriage work.