By: A Muslim Sister
Most of the time, when I talk about this topic, the responses I get are:
“But I love him so much!”
“I can’t live without him!”
“We are struggling to make it halal.”
“I can’t find anyone better than him.”
And the list goes on.
You may feel nobody feels for you or nobody gets you.
However, what is haram, remains haram!
I know it is difficult to say goodbye to the person that you love the most. And I know deep – DEEP inside you the guilty conscious is killing you, knowing you’re disobeying Allah, yet you’re not strong enough to let him go.
I don’t ask you to let him go.
I ask you to return him to Allah!
He isn’t yours. You may think you’re comforting him and making him happy. That is what is visible to you, but from another angle – you’re actually destroying him!
For every moment you make him disobey Allah by letting him text you, call you, date you – You are snatching him from Allah and making his heart turn black due to His disobedience. You will not see the results now.
(Keep reading, I’ll tell you when you will see the results).
Another common case I’ve seen is – The Islamic boyfriend-girlfriend couple.
The guy is with a beard. The girl is in a complete hijab. No dating, no touching, just texting.
He wakes you up for Tahajjud, and you remind him to recite Surah Al-Kahf.
Awww so cute!
Not at all!
Sister, who are you fooling? No one can be assured you’re doing that purely for the sake of Allah. You may think you, are but you are not.
Don’t tell me you have that butterfly flying in your tummy when your mom wakes you up for Fajr?
Then why would you have it when your ‘In sha Allah-future-husband’ texts you? Why do you have such funny sensation in your body and that huge smile on your face every time he texts you? Yes, this hormone has a deep relationship with desire. And it also has a deep relationship with Shaytan. This is unlawful for both of you. You are not husband and wife.
In another word, it’s haram!
One more scenario is couples that are engaged. They are so sure that they both will get married, so they think it is okay for them to come physically close to each other.
No! You can’t, my dear sisters.
We are living in a world where divorce has become so common and so cheap! Even those who are married for years break up – so there is no guarantee whatsoever he will keep his promises. I have seen, many – In fact too many – engaged couples wind up a few months or even a few days prior to their weddings.
Dear Fellow Sisters
One thing you must bear in your mind is, your heart and his heart are in the control of Allah. And trust me, He can change the feelings you have for each other any minute.
Breaking up and winding up is not impossible for Him. Don’t challenge Him. Don’t cross the line. You may think that, you did not commit zina (fornication/adultery) and for that it is not a big issue.
We are not talking about how big or small the issue is, rather who you’re disobeying. You are going against Allah because you are disobeying Him. And do you think by disobeying Him, He will ever answer your prayers?
You text your boyfriend from morning to night, and you wake up in the middle of night asking Allah to help both of you.
Does it make any sense?
If you are sincere, you will walk in the path that Allah loves. You will try to please Him so He will be pleased with you.
I have seen many sisters who are madly and deeply in love. And their love story is about to make the successful ‘Wedding Bells’ ring up.
But then, suddenly the guy leaves her!
In fact he leaves her for no valid reasons. You know why? This is due to sins that you both have committed. His heart has tasted much haraam things and has no desire for what is halaal. This is the result of the disobedience of Allah you have committed and also made him commit.
Allah’s Door of Tawba is open
It’s never too late. You can fix it. You can make a change.
Turn back to Allah. Every time the heart aches, cry to Him. Ask Him to grant you patience and strength. Yes, nobody said it is easy. But you have to. You have to polish the heart with repentance.
If you truly love him, return him to Allah and Allah will take care of Him. If he is yours, he will be yours.
Remember, Allah has written your happiness, and no one can steal it from you. If He has written when you are going to meet your other half, then put your trust in Him and He will unite you with him.
My intense advice to all my sisters is: Delete forever from your vocabulary words/phrases like boyfriend, girlfriend, dating, Valentine’s Day etc.
And decide: Who your biggest love is? HE, or he?