By: Moulana Muhammad bin Haroon
Islam is a balanced religion and addresses all sectors; the employer as well as the employee, the oppressor as well as the oppressed and so on.
My previous article was addressed to the husbands, on how to inculcate the noble character of The Messenger of Allah (Allah’s peace be upon him) in the home.
This one is an attempt to balance the scale – by looking at the other side.
Hereunder are a few Hadiths that guide the wife on how to cherish her husband. These directives point to ideals that are only aspired to by those how marry, work, and live for the sake of Allah alone.
Get the same reward
The women of Madinah Munawwarah once enquired from the Messenger of Allah (Allah’s peace be upon him): ‘Our men folk have surpassed us in reward by virtue of their participation in Jihad. How can we match them?’ The Messenger of Allah (Allah’s peace be upon him) replied ‘You could gain the rank of a Mujahid [one who strives in Allah’s way] by attending to the duties of your home.’ (Majma ‘uz Zawaid vol. 4 pg. 304)
And according to another narration: ‘…You can match them by obeying the husband and acknowledging his superiority, which very few of you will do.’ (Hayatus Sahabah vol. 1 pg. 598)
Those wives who become obstacles in their husbands’ responsibilities in Din, will not share in such rewards.
Easy prescription for entry into paradise
‘Indeed, when a woman offers her five daily salah, observes the yearly fasts of Ramadan, protects her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will be told: ‘Enter Paradise through whichever door you wish.’ (Majma ‘uz Zawaid Vol. 4 pg. 306)
Your husband; a means to Allah
‘Indeed a woman can only fulfill the right of Allah if she fulfills the right of her husband.’ (Majma ‘uz Zawaid Vol. 4 pg. 308)
Effects of the husband’s displeasure
‘The salah or any other deed of a woman whose husband is (rightfully) displeased with her is not accepted until he becomes pleased.’ (Sahih ibn Hibban; Al Ihsan, Hadith: 5355; Fathul Bari, Hadith: 5193)
Appreciate your husband
‘Allah Most High will certainly not cast His glance [of mercy] towards a woman who in spite of her dependence on her husband, complains of him!’ (Majma ‘uz Zawaid Vol. 4 pg. 309)
One of the main causes for a woman’s entry in Jahannam is ‘Disesteem of the husband’. (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith: 29)
It’s your choice
One Hadith addresses the women with the following: ‘He [your husband] is either your Paradise [i.e. by obeying him, in that which is lawful, you shall enter paradise] or your Hell (by disobeying him in the lawful or willfully obeying him in the prohibited).’ (Musnad Ahmad, Hadith: 18904)
Don’t turn him down
‘The Angels continue to invoke Allah’s wrath on that woman who refuses to ‘share the bed’ with her husband.’ (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith: 5193)
The two components that Allah Most High has highlighted for Matrimony:
(1) ‘Mawaddah’ = Love/Friendship
(2) ‘Rahmah’ = Compassion/Mercy/Sympathy/Understanding.
(Surah Rum, Ayah: 21)
Some marriages have both, others may only have one.
Lets make it work.