By: Jamiatul Ulama Gauteng with editing by MuslimVillage
Source: Jamiatul Ulama Gauteng
How does one have a marriage infused with love?
The Holy Qur’aan has offered a beautiful reply in just one Divine Word: RAHMAH.
Says Allah: “And he has created RAHMAH and MAWADAH between you”. (Quran 30:21)
RAHMAH means mercy while MAWADAH means love.
From the Quran we learn that the quality of RAHMAH (Mercy) leads to MAWADAH (Love).
If the husband has mercy upon his wife, she will love him. Mercy entails that he lowers his gaze and not speak or behave in a manner to make his wife insecure or jealous. Mercy means to display kindness, compassion and tolerance. When the wife is unwell, mercy demands that the husband serves her. Mercy demands that when the wife is upset, the husband consoles her. Mercy demands that when the wife is under stress, the husband assist her. Mercy demands that when the wife is unhappy, the husband cheers her up. Mercy demands that when the wife feels threatened by her in-laws, the husband protects her. Mercy demands when the wife is unreasonable, the husband exercises patience and restraint. Mercy demands that when the wife requires things, the husband open-heartedly spends on her. Mercy demands that when the wife transgressors the Shariah, the husband kindly informs her. Mercy demands that when the wife makes ghibah (backbites or slanders), the husband warns her. Mercy demands that when the children are troublesome, the husband assists her. Mercy demands that when the wife pleases her husband, the husband compliments her. Now in our societies today how many husbands demand their rights with even a hint of mercy?
As for the wife, mercy demands that when the husband arrives tired from work, that she does not scream to the children: “There’s your father. Now go to him.” Mercy demands that when the husband is worried, the wife consoles him. Mercy demands that when the husband does not earn well, the wife is grateful for whatever is available and considers her husband and children enough wealth. Mercy demands that when the husband errs, the wife will keep his respect in mind and does not degrade him in front of his children. She would rather bring his shortcomings calmly to his notice in privacy with hikmah (wisdom). Mercy demands that the wife pleases her husband by displaying utmost respect to his parents. Mercy demands that a wife take pride in her husband’s accomplishments. Mercy demands that a wife remind and insists that her husband to earn and eat only halal (lawful wealth). Mercy demands that she reminds her husband of Allah’s Commands. Mercy demands that she protects her chastity. Her body, her voice, even her clothing – all are meant only for him. Mercy demands that a wife be careful of committing “shirk” in sharing her thoughts of her husband with another man. Mercy demands that she brings him closer to Jannah even though he be kicking and screaming.
When the like of the foregoing is observed by both parties with each seeking the pleasure of Allah, rather than the husband being merciful to the wife so that she is loving to him in return or vice versa, then that is the RAHMAH which is the foundation of a loving marriage on earth that will result in eternal bliss in heaven!
That is a marriage which pleases Allah and His Messenger (Allah’s peace be upon him). That is why a Muslim gets married in the first place.