By: M. Sadeel Allam
Source: http://www.sweetmodesty.com/
Ok, you are at the breaking point of taking off your hijab. Hmmm….been there and done that! What triggers this act? personally I think it is something that varies from individual to individual. As a revert, I personally have had these type of moments plenty of times not just my hijab but also about that “comfortable life” before the reality of Islam where I “blended in” and didn’t have to be always conscious of my presence. Yet I’m not that type of sit-back personality – I like challenges in my life.
Still my conscience along with what I have learned in Islam have always ended up fighting head-to-head with my desires. Thank God to this day, my desires have lost. Here is one thing I will never give up; what makes sense. Islam not only makes sense it gives you answers to everything in such a balanced way. How can I mistreat that gift? Another thing that has helped me personally is to understand how the soul and body work. Ya! We’re about to get a little deep.
Per listening to Tasawwuf lectures with Sheikh Hussain Abdul Sattar, I have come to learn that the soul and body fight each other all the time to fill one spot. The soul is fed and outgrows the body when you feed it things like lectures, Quran and good company. The body feeds itself from things like food, shopping, and so on. So, if you’re feeding one thing too much, it definitely is going to outgrow the other. The key is balance. Oh balance! Just when I thought patience was enough. Anyways, here is another thing that I heard lately that really resounded in my heart. We negate things because the belief is simply not there. Yes! I can definitely account to that. I told you we were going to get deep.
So, how do you get that belief back? As we all know the guidance is from Allah SWT – that can only be given by Him, but of course we have the gift of ‘choice’ to help oneself. Either way the problem right now is that you just want to give up and take off your hijab. Here are ten things that have worked for me in addition to being patient with myself and riding the wave (phase) out (hey, one great sign of Iman is something you’re doing already–realizing you need help. It takes courage to just do that, so, I give you big props for that):
1. Do a self analysis. Sometimes you just have to step outside yourself. Look around you and within you to figure out what is affecting your change.
2. Look at your environment — the people you are relating to(you might have to kick some to the curb) and the places you are hanging around.
3. Look at your personal relationship with Allah SWT (are you talking to Him the least?). We sometimes tend to drift off our obligations from Allah SWT and not please Him when our relationship with Him becomes distant.
4. Remember in the first place why you decided to wear it.
5. Truly, put into perspective what is truly important for you and be courageous to give up on those things that do no good for you–sometimes they are people, sometimes they are habits and sometimes they are environments.
6. Make dua (supplication) and be patient with yourself.
7. Drop everything and go sit in the company of people that are strong in their deen (religion). My teacher once said in her lecture that the reason we come off with great energy after sitting with these type of companies is because we borrow their energy. You might have to do this more than once.
8. Remember that perfection is not for this world. It is for the next one, which means that we have to go through trials.
9. Constantly reminder that your faith must win over your desires.
10. Just chill. This could just be a phase. Ride it out.